Q: How do I maintain a healthy relationship?
A healthy relationship basically means that both partners feel supported and feel good about the emotional and physical components of the relationship. Both of you need to be feeling safe and happy being together, or the relationship might not be such a healthy one. Communication is so key to keeping a good relationship, not only in terms of physical health and negotiating protection if the relationship is sexual, but also in terms of knowing how your partner is feeling about everything that's going on in your relationship and preventing fights or unclear issues by explaining how you both are feeling. Depending on your partner for certain things is okay, but it's probably not a good sign if you feel like s/he is all you have and everything in your life is dependent upon what s/he says, does or thinks, or if your partner totally relies on you to give value or meaning in his/her life. It's also so important that, if you don't feel like you are in a safe or healthy relationship, you have a support system of friends and/or family so that you can get out of that situation and not have to deal with everything on your own.
Q:What kind of abuse occurs in relationships?
Relationship abuse comes in many forms. Most abuse falls within one of four categories: Physical, Emotional, Psychological, and Sexual. You need to be aware of what they look like so you will know if one or more of them is part of your relationship. Here is a brief description of each kind of abuse.
Physical: actions which cause physical pain or injury, such as kicking, pushing, punching, pinching. Emotional: actions which cause loss of self-esteem, such as name-calling, swearing, criticizing Psychological: actions which create fear, such as isolation or threats Sexual: acts of a sexual nature that are unwelcome or uncomfortable
Q:My partner doesn't get mad very often, but when s/he does get mad it scares me. How can I tell if this is a warning sign of abuse?
Even if your partner rarely gets angry, you should always watch out for people who seem to get too angry. These people may hit walls or lockers, yell loudly, get red in the face, call names, have fire in their eyes, or actually threaten others with violence. This type behavior is a serious warning sign of future relationship abuse. If your partner does any of these things when angry, you need to seek assistance. Talk to someone.
Q:I've tried several times to end my relationship, but my partner says life would not be worth living without me. I love my partner and don't want to hurt my partner. What should I do?
Your partner has low self esteem. This is one of the early warning signs of abuse. People with low self-esteem do not like themselves very much. In a dating relationship a person with low self-esteem may say, "I'm nothing without you," or "You are my world." This is not real life. Your partner is the one responsible for learning to like himself/herself. As long as you stay in a relationship like this you allow your partner to use you as a crutch and your partner may never seek the help s/he needs.
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